I'm a Swiss Army Knife of Wit! Adios Roman.

It was a grueling 32 years... but my coup de gras is complete. It's a tough life being Henry Flame, Private Investigator of crimes that happened in 1977... but it's the only life I know. And today that life seemed pretty damn good.

That's right. I finally caught Roman Polanski... the man I've been tracking for 32 years for charges of statuatory rape... look at his stupid face:


And how'd I do it? Well... it's ironic... I call myself the Swiss Army Knife of Wit. Different pieces of my intellect and insight on criminals are used depending on the situation... and this time my Swiss intellect was pulled in Switzerland. Strange? No. Nothings strange when you're Henry Flame, P.I.

Basically I heard that he was going to Switzerland so I waited at the border and caught him... sound easy and you wonder why no one hasn't just done that before? Well he's a tricky fish.

Also ironic that I've based my entire life emulating Roman's film Chinatown. But that's just the way it is.

They say Roman wasn't caught in a day... no... it took 32 years, including once when I bribed the academy to give him an award... to lure him here. No dice. But since catching him I've been solving other mysteries from 1977. And I've been making a killing. So I figured I'd track them all here, while the going's still strong.

When in Roman... am I right?


God... I kill myself.